Monday, August 8, 2011

I'ts been awhile

First off I want to thank you all who took time to follow me and check my writings a friend has inspired me to return and I hope it blesses u as I continue forward in God.

I have been through alot if I was to try and explain to you it would take a million blogs :) my walk with God has struggled for a time I thought I wouldn't make it that there was just too much going on. Now I sit here with a understanding that lif is not like a bowl of cherries. There is a time in God when your soaring high and then when you ask for elevation when you ask for that double anointing be prepared to GO THROUGH! I have fallen under pressure many times not wanting to have to face the enemy because the attacks were so strong! But my spirit man cries for more of God. So what did I have to understand? That it's time to grow up andface the enemy head on! and this time not back up! Be encouraged saints we are going to always be in a test the question is will we fold? or will we pass? God is always with you no matter what it feels like ahe loves u and yes me :) be blessed!

Lakisha Latham

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Make Me Over

Don't you get tired of hurting, tired of wondering how that person feels about you. tired of holding that unforgivness and hurt. tormenting yourself day after day after day with petty situations? Tired of protecting yourselfhaving to put up more walls, Protecting ''Yourself'' from daily obstacles? Are you not lonely in the prison you placed yourself in? No one can reach you no one can lay hands on you, alone alone aren't you tired of being alone.....wake up! wake up! from your slumber darkness has consumed you there is no peace within those walls, the enemy has done just what he set out to do. Alienate you from everyone who cares about you. Don't you get tired of ''self'' ''I'm hurt, I'm mad I'm angry'' It's all about you can't you see that? Aren't you tired of holding those destructive thoughts suicide, death, self-harm? When will you tear them down? When will you allow the ''Comforter'' to come in and take you apart so he can clean you out. The same thing day in and day out. Days turn to months, months turn to years and you are still in that same place.If this is you then how can you have truly experienced God's love and forgiveness? if you can not let go then how do you expect God to heal and restore you? I don't know about you but I was Tired of being this way tired of the demons coming and tormenting me at night having dreams about hell and wondering if I was gonna lose my life that day. You have to be broken down you have to humble yourself. Jesus was humble unto death and now we have all been given a second chance. Yet we are so quick to judge and cast aside one another. When someone use to make me upset I would immediately take them out of my life and when ''I'' thought the time was right I would let them back in. Yet I wondered why no one wanted to be bothered with me. I let the few people that did me wrong cost me all of my friendships and almost my family! That's when I decided to let God have His way in me. When I realized that ''I'' no one else but ''I '' was killing myself! Get on the operating table saints I'm so serious right now if you can't trust anyone you can trust God. Allow Him to work on you. I don't know how much you have bottled up for some of you it's gonna hurt but I promise you when it's over you will have a freedom you never felt before in your life! no one is perfect not even Christians but we have to love one another is spite of that's the greatest commandment out all of them ''LOVE''!If you need prayer I'm here I love u all I don't care that I have not met some of you I love u you with the heart of God and I'm here I wont judge you I have been there I know it's ok to cry tears are cleansing be blessed

Friday, October 23, 2009

My eyes will stay upon you Lord though chaos may surround me, enemies coming from every side my eyes will stay upon you. Through the lies, gossip, and slander I will look to you. Though it may break my heart, though my pain may last for a little while I will seek my healer Jesus my eyes will stay upon you. Though it may seem they have the victory, and defeat might begin to cover me I will keep my eyes on you and know I have the victory because I let you handle it.. Though I may want to be right, my point might not have come across in that time of correction my eyes will stay upon you. Though I may not agree with everything that goes on around me I will keep my eyes on you because you are a God of change. Though people may desert me because I make a stand to follow you and will not compromise I will keep my eyes on you. though the wicked may prosper and my bannk account is at 0 I will keep my eyes on you, for you provide all of my needs. For you kept your eyes on God when they nailed you to the cross. As your blood began to pour to the rocky surface you continually beseeched God to forgive us for our sins, to release us from all guilt and condemnation, to still His wrath as your spirit began to leave the human Body that it was in. You asked Him to forgive us though we spit upon you and cast lots for your clothing you kept your eyes on God. For in the midst of death and chaos you had a peace none of them could understand the peace of God. You knew your sacrifice would save many, That it would give us a second chance to serve God to love Him, as you loved Him. I will get out of the way so you can be seen. My flesh will submit my emotions will cease to exist unless needed to display your love and affection and those times when I need to shed a few tears in the privacy of my own home or at the altar where I come for wisdom and guidance. I will keep my eyes on you.
© Lakisha Latham 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Where I wanna be

I want to feel your breath on my> face your arms holding me tight I want to look into your> eyes and see the love I have longed for all my life. I want> to walk with you in the meadows the grass growing under our> feet so lush and green. I wanna look up at the stars in the> night sky with you by my side. I wanna crawl into your lap> as you rock me to sleep I wanna feel your heart beat as you> hum a soft tune in my ear. I wanna run into your arms as u> swing me through the sky nothing but air and birds in the> sky. I wanna come home from work and see u standing there a> proud look on your face as I tell you about my day. I wanna> make dinner for you and as we sit at each end of the table> discuss what's on your mind. I want you sit on your> throne as I dance before you nothing holding me back all to> the glory of you papa. I wanna float through the air my arms> extended light shining from my face the glow of YOU covering> my skin. I wanna sing your praises till I no longer have a> voice and when that's gone I want to kneel at your feet> in complete worship, adoration, appreciation for all u have> done. To wash your feet with my tears to kiss your scars GOD> to be so close to you. Papa please hear my heart I love u so> so much that tears come in my eyes at akward times! That> when I'm walking down the street I will suddenly stop> and look up at the sky knowing u are looking down on me. So> much FATHER that when the sun seems to get brighter in the> evening sky I know that you are smiling at me.>> > So much deeper I need to go so much more to explore> about you nevernding pool of warmth and love. Take me there> to your throne into your arms my head resting against your> chest love peace is all I feel my mind erased of all fears.> My heart fulfilled my eyes no longer wandering wondering> where do I belong. My feelings no longer crushed or subject> to evil doers where the devil can no longer tourtue me about> my skin the way Ilook or what I'm wearing. Where all> demons have to bow or run in fear divine protection my> strong tower to u I draw near! Papa Papa the very breath I> breathe is from you. A sweet caress across my face I know> u are near breathless JESUS humbly hear this prayer from the> heart it comes vunerable open I am your servant. To the most> high I offer praise for all of my days and> beyond... © Lakisha Latham 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009

Do you love yourself?

Why is it so hard to love ourselves? Is it because society has painted a image of the perfect woman/man or is it because we hate ourselves because of things we have done it the past that we felt sealed our fate for the future?

There could be man reasons for the way you feel. For me personally it was the world. I would see magazines upon magazines of skinny women with piles of make up and wearing the latest fashions telling me "this is how you are suppose to look" Well coming from a single parent household didn't leave much for me to work with but my mother did her best by us and for that I'm grateful. I didn't like myself after the age of 14. back then my mom had a control on my diet and I had a "awesome" figure and though even then I had "guy" issues I thought it would get better as time went by. To my sadness and utter humiliation things got worse.

I got a job and decided to take over my health buying whatever junk food I wanted! I didn't know it but back then I was using food to cover up a deeper problem I didn't like myself. As time went by I got fatter and before I knew it I was a chunky female! Now I still saw these magazines but I just figured that I would be like for who I was or so I thought. High School was the worse if the kids didn't like you that was it no questions asked, The one boy who did like me I had a crush on " go figure!" I began to hate myself more and more each day drowning my problems in food and books. I often hid in the library or skipped class to get away from everyone. The last straw was when my "then" boyfriend took another girl to prom because he thought she was prettier! That blew my world I knew at that point I was nothing! At this time I didn't have god in my life so I was looking to people and things to feel the loneliness and rejection I "FELT" I put this in quotations because at the time I didn't know the devil was planting lies in my head!

After the humiliation of high school I dropped out at 17 years old! I figured I could make it working at White Castle man was I delusional! I started running through man after man. Calling date lines even messing around with coworkers! I figured I can get a man this way I can feel loved be a "princess". See after all this I was still innocent in so many ways I believed in "prince Charming' and all that "fairy tale" mess I even started living in that world to escape my present situation! "Yes I was messed up" The men came and went and I became less and less of the bright girl I once was. The devil had me fully believing that I wasn't worth anything I was gonna die a lonely person. So I ate more and more at this point I'm beyond depressed I'm aching to be loved! If only I would had known the Lord then I would have went to my mother but I was allowing the devil to play games with my head.

I turned to "dark" music to get by. To me it expressed what I was feeling but, I didn't know how to get it out. Soon after I began to be tormented at night! Nightmares of hell and Satan himself filled my nights. I started drinking and smoking weed not only to fit in but to escape my life. None of it worked I was still a outcast. Women was my final straw I figured if I became a lesbian I would be loved and fit in with the "crowd" but, it just made everything worse. "where was God in all of this?" I know you are asking yourself this question. It took my hair dresser to get me to church and when I finally accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior the chains fell off the years of abuse and pain came out in uncontrollable tears! I was free or so I thought.

Since 2001 it has been a struggle I came in and out of God trying to fight my "own" demons not submitting to God. See I thought I was so hideous that not even He could love me! The I read this scripture. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Know that whatever the devil has allowed you to believe is false ask the Lord to show you His divine path for you life! Psalm 71:6By You I have been upheld from birth;You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb. My praise shall be continually of You. He knew what you would go through but he also knew you would find your way to Him! Trust your FATHER cry out to Him release those years of frustration and pain and watch Him heal deliver and set you free! He has for me in so many ways!

In conclusion Jesus is my boyfriend and He will be until God sends me the right one! I still battle my weight and even now He is still healing me but, I'm with women and men of God who love me! I'm even going deeper into worship and my love for Him! He is awesome! Find a awesome local church where u can get the support you need it's never too late to turn to God amen!

© Lakisha Latham 2009

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Expose

Welcome to the revelation of me, my own worst enemy, A mirror I look into not by my flesh but by the spirit. I see a woman who loves the Lord YET I'm in the way, A smile is on my face but it's strained from the battles I had to go through this week, the hurts that I allowed to enter my heart and reside there. "I love the Lord? do I follow HIS ways completely" A pain starts in the right side of my brain as this question bounces around in my head. "I can't belive she embarrassed me like that" "my boss is annoying the heck out of me" "How am I gonna pay these bills" "I'm never gonna amount to anything" These thoughts running through my head daily! "Where is God in this?" I ask myself. Am I not suppose to love those who persecute me? use me? Yes my hurts could be valid but I'm not suppose to hold on to them am I perfect? No.

I continue to look in the mirror my eyes start to water as the tears threaten to stream down my face. " Why am I still single" "I long for a companion it must be my skin that keeps Him away weight gain can be torture on the skin." One at a time the warm liquid streams down my face. I'm my own worst enemy, the mirror reveals the true attacker ME! How can so much anger, hate, unforgivness dwell in a woman of God? As defeat begins to cover me, the holy spirit speaks to me "Do u not know I love u why do u fight me? I long to protect U let go and let me in!" As the words go from my ears and register in my brain the mirror slowly slips out of my hand and crashes to the ground shattering to pieces. "how could I have forgotten you lord?" I ask myself "so many times U don't even know it but you overpower me with YOUR thoughts and YOUR "old way" of handling things. I'm here now trust in me" says the Lord.

I fall to my knees in brokenness knowing that I have once again almost blocked my FATHER! I lay prostrate before HIM crying out for HIM to heal me. "I will get out of the way Lord I will trust you!" I scream at the floor. A break happens inside of me, my heart starts beating faster as the walls around it start coming down" "break me shake me!" I scream to the Lord. My body stops trembling and a peace I have never know covers me I know that at this point I have found peace with God and myself I know now that I'm unstoppable as long as Christ has the reigns in my life!

How often do you get in your word? How often do you pray? If this is you it's time to do it more often. I have literally started carrying my bible with me we have got to get the word engrafted in us so we don't continue to get caught in this trap. I love u if u need prayer I'm here be blessed!

© Lakisha Latham 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Inspired

Good Morning all! Wow we were so busy towards the end of the week so I didn't get to write much. I hope this makes up for those couple of days :)

Ask yourself this question "when am I inspired" now for many of u this could mean alot of things, for me it's when i dance, sing or write God takes me over and I let HIM move through me. Now this is a awesome time! This is when God can be most effective when we are open before HIM vulnerable! Our "gifts" can minister to others! Now this question "when are you not inspired?" This is when the "flesh" Has overpowered God and YOU have gotten in the way. Often this happens when someone does something to "offend" you or "hurts" your feelings. If you don't give ti to God right away it begins to take root in your body and often times it can become a stronghold that is hard to break free from! As Christians one of our requirements is to walk in "Forgiveness" now this is hard for someone who feels that they have a right to feel the way I do (I'm preaching to myself right now!) We have to remember though that hurt is possibly "Justified" we can not hold that person or ourselves in bondage! This is when the "gifts" the Lord has blessed you with start to suffer! You are so caught up in your flesh the fact that your right that you can't hear the voice of the Lord asking you to forgive them, to take the hurt before HIS throne and release it to HIM!

You must also remember that there may be something going on inside the person that hurt you or that maybe they didn't mean to offend and that you might have taken it wrong! There are so many different aspects to this that's why it's so important to talk to GOD about it before we jump to conclusions. I'm guilty of this myself way too often I allow how I feel to block what God is trying to do! To be cut off from GOD Is the most painful thing you can ever experience. HE can not dwell where there is sin and Unforgivness. I encourage you to talk to GOD today ask HIM what you might be holding against someone and release that hurt to HIM. Also if you can bring that person to the altar and pray with them, then you can see what's really going on in their heart. GOD bless u If you need prayer I'm here..