Words of life and wisdom

I'ts been awhile

2011-08-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

First off I want to thank you all who took time to follow me and check my writings a friend has inspired me to return and I hope it blesses u as I continue forward in God.

I have been through alot if I was to try and explain to you it would take a million blogs :) my walk with God has struggled for a time I thought I wouldn't make it that there was just too much going on. Now I sit here with a understanding that lif is not like a bowl of cherries. There is a time in God when your soaring high and then when you ask for elevation when you ask for that double anointing be prepared to GO THROUGH! I have fallen under pressure many times not wanting to have to face the enemy because the attacks were so strong! But my spirit man cries for more of God. So what did I have to understand? That it's time to grow up andface the enemy head on! and this time not back up! Be encouraged saints we are going to always be in a test the question is will we fold? or will we pass? God is always with you no matter what it feels like ahe loves u and yes me :) be blessed!

Lakisha Latham

Make Me Over

2010-02-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

Don't you get tired of hurting, tired of wondering how that person feels about you. tired of holding that unforgivness and hurt. tormenting yourself day after day after day with petty situations? Tired of protecting yourselfhaving to put up more walls, Protecting ''Yourself'' from daily obstacles? Are you not lonely in the prison you placed yourself in? No one can reach you no one can lay hands on you, alone alone aren't you tired of being alone.....wake up! wake up! from your slumber darkness has consumed you there is no peace within those walls, the enemy has done just what he set out to do. Alienate you from everyone who cares about you. Don't you get tired of ''self'' ''I'm hurt, I'm mad I'm angry'' It's all about you can't you see that? Aren't you tired of holding those destructive thoughts suicide, death, self-harm? When will you tear them down? When will you allow the ''Comforter'' to come in and take you apart so he can clean you out. The same thing day in and day out. Days turn to months, months turn to years and you are still in that same place.If this is you then how can you have truly experienced God's love and forgiveness? if you can not let go then how do you expect God to heal and restore you? I don't know about you but I was Tired of being this way tired of the demons coming and tormenting me at night having dreams about hell and wondering if I was gonna lose my life that day. You have to be broken down you have to humble yourself. Jesus was humble unto death and now we have all been given a second chance. Yet we are so quick to judge and cast aside one another. When someone use to make me upset I would immediately take them out of my life and when ''I'' thought the time was right I would let them back in. Yet I wondered why no one wanted to be bothered with me. I let the few people that did me wrong cost me all of my friendships and almost my family! That's when I decided to let God have His way in me. When I realized that ''I'' no one else but ''I '' was killing myself! Get on the operating table saints I'm so serious right now if you can't trust anyone you can trust God. Allow Him to work on you. I don't know how much you have bottled up for some of you it's gonna hurt but I promise you when it's over you will have a freedom you never felt before in your life! no one is perfect not even Christians but we have to love one another is spite of that's the greatest commandment out all of them ''LOVE''!If you need prayer I'm here I love u all I don't care that I have not met some of you I love u you with the heart of God and I'm here I wont judge you I have been there I know it's ok to cry tears are cleansing be blessed

2009-10-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

My eyes will stay upon you Lord though chaos may surround me, enemies coming from every side my eyes will stay upon you. Through the lies, gossip, and slander I will look to you. Though it may break my heart, though my pain may last for a little while I will seek my healer Jesus my eyes will stay upon you. Though it may seem they have the victory, and defeat might begin to cover me I will keep my eyes on you and know I have the victory because I let you handle it.. Though I may want to be right, my point might not have come across in that time of correction my eyes will stay upon you. Though I may not agree with everything that goes on around me I will keep my eyes on you because you are a God of change. Though people may desert me because I make a stand to follow you and will not compromise I will keep my eyes on you. though the wicked may prosper and my bannk account is at 0 I will keep my eyes on you, for you provide all of my needs. For you kept your eyes on God when they nailed you to the cross. As your blood began to pour to the rocky surface you continually beseeched God to forgive us for our sins, to release us from all guilt and condemnation, to still His wrath as your spirit began to leave the human Body that it was in. You asked Him to forgive us though we spit upon you and cast lots for your clothing you kept your eyes on God. For in the midst of death and chaos you had a peace none of them could understand the peace of God. You knew your sacrifice would save many, That it would give us a second chance to serve God to love Him, as you loved Him. I will get out of the way so you can be seen. My flesh will submit my emotions will cease to exist unless needed to display your love and affection and those times when I need to shed a few tears in the privacy of my own home or at the altar where I come for wisdom and guidance. I will keep my eyes on you.
© Lakisha Latham 2009

Where I wanna be

2009-10-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

I want to feel your breath on my> face your arms holding me tight I want to look into your> eyes and see the love I have longed for all my life. I want> to walk with you in the meadows the grass growing under our> feet so lush and green. I wanna look up at the stars in the> night sky with you by my side. I wanna crawl into your lap> as you rock me to sleep I wanna feel your heart beat as you> hum a soft tune in my ear. I wanna run into your arms as u> swing me through the sky nothing but air and birds in the> sky. I wanna come home from work and see u standing there a> proud look on your face as I tell you about my day. I wanna> make dinner for you and as we sit at each end of the table> discuss what's on your mind. I want you sit on your> throne as I dance before you nothing holding me back all to> the glory of you papa. I wanna float through the air my arms> extended light shining from my face the glow of YOU covering> my skin. I wanna sing your praises till I no longer have a> voice and when that's gone I want to kneel at your feet> in complete worship, adoration, appreciation for all u have> done. To wash your feet with my tears to kiss your scars GOD> to be so close to you. Papa please hear my heart I love u so> so much that tears come in my eyes at akward times! That> when I'm walking down the street I will suddenly stop> and look up at the sky knowing u are looking down on me. So> much FATHER that when the sun seems to get brighter in the> evening sky I know that you are smiling at me.>> > So much deeper I need to go so much more to explore> about you nevernding pool of warmth and love. Take me there> to your throne into your arms my head resting against your> chest love peace is all I feel my mind erased of all fears.> My heart fulfilled my eyes no longer wandering wondering> where do I belong. My feelings no longer crushed or subject> to evil doers where the devil can no longer tourtue me about> my skin the way Ilook or what I'm wearing. Where all> demons have to bow or run in fear divine protection my> strong tower to u I draw near! Papa Papa the very breath I> breathe is from you. A sweet caress across my face I know> u are near breathless JESUS humbly hear this prayer from the> heart it comes vunerable open I am your servant. To the most> high I offer praise for all of my days and> beyond... © Lakisha Latham 2009

Do you love yourself?

2009-09-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to love ourselves? Is it because society has painted a image of the perfect woman/man or is it because we hate ourselves because of things we have done it the past that we felt sealed our fate for the future?

There could be man reasons for the way you feel. For me personally it was the world. I would see magazines upon magazines of skinny women with piles of make up and wearing the latest fashions telling me "this is how you are suppose to look" Well coming from a single parent household didn't leave much for me to work with but my mother did her best by us and for that I'm grateful. I didn't like myself after the age of 14. back then my mom had a control on my diet and I had a "awesome" figure and though even then I had "guy" issues I thought it would get better as time went by. To my sadness and utter humiliation things got worse.

I got a job and decided to take over my health buying whatever junk food I wanted! I didn't know it but back then I was using food to cover up a deeper problem I didn't like myself. As time went by I got fatter and before I knew it I was a chunky female! Now I still saw these magazines but I just figured that I would be like for who I was or so I thought. High School was the worse if the kids didn't like you that was it no questions asked, The one boy who did like me I had a crush on " go figure!" I began to hate myself more and more each day drowning my problems in food and books. I often hid in the library or skipped class to get away from everyone. The last straw was when my "then" boyfriend took another girl to prom because he thought she was prettier! That blew my world I knew at that point I was nothing! At this time I didn't have god in my life so I was looking to people and things to feel the loneliness and rejection I "FELT" I put this in quotations because at the time I didn't know the devil was planting lies in my head!

After the humiliation of high school I dropped out at 17 years old! I figured I could make it working at White Castle man was I delusional! I started running through man after man. Calling date lines even messing around with coworkers! I figured I can get a man this way I can feel loved be a "princess". See after all this I was still innocent in so many ways I believed in "prince Charming' and all that "fairy tale" mess I even started living in that world to escape my present situation! "Yes I was messed up" The men came and went and I became less and less of the bright girl I once was. The devil had me fully believing that I wasn't worth anything I was gonna die a lonely person. So I ate more and more at this point I'm beyond depressed I'm aching to be loved! If only I would had known the Lord then I would have went to my mother but I was allowing the devil to play games with my head.

I turned to "dark" music to get by. To me it expressed what I was feeling but, I didn't know how to get it out. Soon after I began to be tormented at night! Nightmares of hell and Satan himself filled my nights. I started drinking and smoking weed not only to fit in but to escape my life. None of it worked I was still a outcast. Women was my final straw I figured if I became a lesbian I would be loved and fit in with the "crowd" but, it just made everything worse. "where was God in all of this?" I know you are asking yourself this question. It took my hair dresser to get me to church and when I finally accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior the chains fell off the years of abuse and pain came out in uncontrollable tears! I was free or so I thought.

Since 2001 it has been a struggle I came in and out of God trying to fight my "own" demons not submitting to God. See I thought I was so hideous that not even He could love me! The I read this scripture. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Know that whatever the devil has allowed you to believe is false ask the Lord to show you His divine path for you life! Psalm 71:6By You I have been upheld from birth;You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb. My praise shall be continually of You. He knew what you would go through but he also knew you would find your way to Him! Trust your FATHER cry out to Him release those years of frustration and pain and watch Him heal deliver and set you free! He has for me in so many ways!

In conclusion Jesus is my boyfriend and He will be until God sends me the right one! I still battle my weight and even now He is still healing me but, I'm with women and men of God who love me! I'm even going deeper into worship and my love for Him! He is awesome! Find a awesome local church where u can get the support you need it's never too late to turn to God amen!

Expose

2009-09-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the revelation of me, my own worst enemy, A mirror I look into not by my flesh but by the spirit. I see a woman who loves the Lord YET I'm in the way, A smile is on my face but it's strained from the battles I had to go through this week, the hurts that I allowed to enter my heart and reside there. "I love the Lord? do I follow HIS ways completely" A pain starts in the right side of my brain as this question bounces around in my head. "I can't belive she embarrassed me like that" "my boss is annoying the heck out of me" "How am I gonna pay these bills" "I'm never gonna amount to anything" These thoughts running through my head daily! "Where is God in this?" I ask myself. Am I not suppose to love those who persecute me? use me? Yes my hurts could be valid but I'm not suppose to hold on to them am I perfect? No.

I continue to look in the mirror my eyes start to water as the tears threaten to stream down my face. " Why am I still single" "I long for a companion it must be my skin that keeps Him away weight gain can be torture on the skin." One at a time the warm liquid streams down my face. I'm my own worst enemy, the mirror reveals the true attacker ME! How can so much anger, hate, unforgivness dwell in a woman of God? As defeat begins to cover me, the holy spirit speaks to me "Do u not know I love u why do u fight me? I long to protect U let go and let me in!" As the words go from my ears and register in my brain the mirror slowly slips out of my hand and crashes to the ground shattering to pieces. "how could I have forgotten you lord?" I ask myself "so many times U don't even know it but you overpower me with YOUR thoughts and YOUR "old way" of handling things. I'm here now trust in me" says the Lord.

I fall to my knees in brokenness knowing that I have once again almost blocked my FATHER! I lay prostrate before HIM crying out for HIM to heal me. "I will get out of the way Lord I will trust you!" I scream at the floor. A break happens inside of me, my heart starts beating faster as the walls around it start coming down" "break me shake me!" I scream to the Lord. My body stops trembling and a peace I have never know covers me I know that at this point I have found peace with God and myself I know now that I'm unstoppable as long as Christ has the reigns in my life!

How often do you get in your word? How often do you pray? If this is you it's time to do it more often. I have literally started carrying my bible with me we have got to get the word engrafted in us so we don't continue to get caught in this trap. I love u if u need prayer I'm here be blessed!

Inspired

2009-09-08T06:01:00.001-07:00

Good Morning all! Wow we were so busy towards the end of the week so I didn't get to write much. I hope this makes up for those couple of days :)

Ask yourself this question "when am I inspired" now for many of u this could mean alot of things, for me it's when i dance, sing or write God takes me over and I let HIM move through me. Now this is a awesome time! This is when God can be most effective when we are open before HIM vulnerable! Our "gifts" can minister to others! Now this question "when are you not inspired?" This is when the "flesh" Has overpowered God and YOU have gotten in the way. Often this happens when someone does something to "offend" you or "hurts" your feelings. If you don't give ti to God right away it begins to take root in your body and often times it can become a stronghold that is hard to break free from! As Christians one of our requirements is to walk in "Forgiveness" now this is hard for someone who feels that they have a right to feel the way I do (I'm preaching to myself right now!) We have to remember though that hurt is possibly "Justified" we can not hold that person or ourselves in bondage! This is when the "gifts" the Lord has blessed you with start to suffer! You are so caught up in your flesh the fact that your right that you can't hear the voice of the Lord asking you to forgive them, to take the hurt before HIS throne and release it to HIM!

You must also remember that there may be something going on inside the person that hurt you or that maybe they didn't mean to offend and that you might have taken it wrong! There are so many different aspects to this that's why it's so important to talk to GOD about it before we jump to conclusions. I'm guilty of this myself way too often I allow how I feel to block what God is trying to do! To be cut off from GOD Is the most painful thing you can ever experience. HE can not dwell where there is sin and Unforgivness. I encourage you to talk to GOD today ask HIM what you might be holding against someone and release that hurt to HIM. Also if you can bring that person to the altar and pray with them, then you can see what's really going on in their heart. GOD bless u If you need prayer I'm here..

Our Country

2009-09-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

What do you do to sustain your joy? Life as of late has been chaos. So many disasters going on around u, Fires in California, hurricanes in Mexico. Prominent figures/ celebrities dying at a rapid pace What is happening to our world. I was asking myself this last night as I watched the news. SO many people are willing to mourn for a falling star, yet when it comes to giving God what HE deserves they cast HIM aside. Yet we are willing to blame HIM for all the disasters that hit our country. This upsets me because if we truly knew God we would praise HIM despite what is around us! HE made this world for mane(us) we were given control over how we would handle it. The beasts even fear us we have them in zoos! Yet we are ungrateful and we wonder why the world is falling apart? In all that I do I try t keep my eyes focused on GOD! HE is my sustainer the reason I live even when this recession happened people losing their jobs, Prices and taxes increasing on everything! I could have easily started murmuring and complaining about it but, what does that solve? Then we Have Barack Obama messing around with our health care another reason I could be mad or even pick on the man himself, but what will that solve? In the end it comes down to one thing PRAYER!

Our country has forgotten the power of prayer. That if we would trust in the Lord HE would deliver us from our current situation. When you look at a $1 bill what do you see on the back "In God we trust" but do we? More and more people are starting to depend on the president himself to carry "their" burdens and to handle all the world's problems but he is not God. This reminds me of the book of Kings. Throughout the entire book people wanted a king appointed so bad that it didn't matter who it was they just wanted someone to rule over them. Now what kind of sense does that make? Because of their immaturity they elected people time and time again who were not of God, and their lands fell into chaos! Some were even enslaved by other countries! In all truth we shouldn't even have a president! GOD should be the one we are serving and trusting in to run this country! SO many atheists and anti- god coalitions are causing more and more people to turn away from their faith in Jesus CHRIST! This is not how it was suppose to be! GOD wanted to dwell among us to watch us grow and we have turned our backs on HIM time and time again! What does the future hold now?

What is it going to take for America to wake up and realize we ALL need GOD. How many more do we have to lose. Please pray go back to your first love Jesus and receive HIS protection and security before things get worse. If u need prayer you know where I am..

Repent/Finances

2009-08-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

Wow I thought I would be the last person to do a devotional on this, but the LORD sought me out this morning and I had to write it down I hope it blesses u.

I was on the bus this morning looking out the window as always my Zune playing music is my ears. The album "The J Moss project" This man always gets to me because his music is from the heart and he is always crying out to God! I mean what a great gift to cast your worries on HIM! Now I don't know about you guys but in the morning I'm rushing out the door so I don't have the time I desire to pray so I do it on the bus. :) Well today was different. The Holy Spirit hit me hard such a strong anointing fell upon me! The the Lord started speaking. The whole time I was sitting on the bus I was thinking about the bills I had coming up and how the check I was gonna receive on Friday was gonna be gone as soon as it hit my checking account! Of course I wanted to mope I mean cmon I work hard for this money right? I get up early every day drag myself into work and push numbers! So yeah here I go getting ready to ask God to restore my financial situation when HE spoke to me.

" Lakisha your financial situation is your own doing! When I have blessed you the money has went to movies, dining out, or something else u didn't NEED" Now notice HE said "need". We all have wants but the "needs" are more important. Now this hit me hard I mean it pierced my heart! I once again had set myself up for failure! Now I can't lie this is me to the letter. I come from a family who loves to go out/ see a movie/ shopping. Now we have been getting better eating dinner at home and renting from the red box however we all have our vices, mines is food. I will eat out everyday I will find some excuse to not pack a lunch it's horrible and true! Now know this I have alot of debt but yet I still try to live the "high" life! "I mean I needed that pedicure, oh and those shoes, and I just have to see that movie coming out Friday, ohhh and that restaurant let me just look around" "WOW"! right I know you are saying this to yourself this girl is pitiful. but are you just like me?

Listen to me God didn't say HE doesn't want us to have fun but we have to do it in moderation. We can't go out every time we get paid. Alot of us before we found God did alot of spending we shouldn't have. Credit cards got ran up, 2nd morgages on homes, Equity lines used up. Yes it sucks but we did it! Now God said we are to cast all our cares on HIM for HE cares for us. However we need to learn a lesson as well. I have been saved for many years and I keep thinking that one day I'm gonna wake up and check my credit card balance and it's gonna say 0 due! and I can jump around and give God praise! but have I learned my lesson? Here we are years later and I'm still holding on to my habits! I tell you this money is not allowed to sit in my checking account I will find a way to spend it. Now what sense does that make? yet it's true I have a problem and I'm crying out to God about it and sure enough HE is showing me the way.

How many of you are in this situation? You can't even tithe because you went out the night before and spent all u had? God can not bless a mess! So even though that debt is sitting there with me paying "minimum payments" God has not removed it because I haven't learned my lesson. I still spend like crazy! I encourage you today to put down your check books, credit cards, cash, and fall to your knees and cry out to God. He hears the prayers of the righteous. Be honest with HIM and yourself you have a problem and you don't want to stop spending. Oh yes it's true though some us know we aren't suppose to touch that "rent money" we just have to buy that DVD. We have to be TRULY honest with God.As always if u need someone to pray with I'm here. I'm walking towards my freedom from debt one revelation at a time are you?

Unforgivness-hurt-protection

2009-08-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

Now guys I want you to know that alot of time I use my own testimonies to let you know what's really going down in a "christian life" Not one of us is perfect but that's why we love the "perfect one" Jesus Christ.

I find it hard to admit to myself when I'm wrong or if I'm doing something I should be doing. This is another way pride can get in the way of needing to repent. I was walking in unforgivness literally. You could not tell me nothing I thought I was right and so I held it close to my heart now allowing anyone to penetrate the wall I had built. Now trust this I love the Lord and I still prayed and seeked HIS face in spite of what I was dealing with. Now I'm sure at that point my prayers didn't make it any farther than Jesus's feet because I KNEW what I was doing was wrong. but I said to myself "if God sees all then HE knows their wrong!" I even knew without a shadow of a doubt that "Vengeance was the Lord's" and that I wasn't suppose to be seeking it. SO I said to myself "maybe if I just stop talking to everyone and hide the I would make my point" Oh how we forget that GOD knows our hearts and I'm sure everyone I was mad at knew what was going on, however they weren't going to entertain it. I have been in my church for awhile now and this very subject is preached on often. "If u make a choice to stay in unforgivness then u set yourself up for failure"

Now check this out I went to church that Sunday I got prayer and I release the unforgivness so you would think I'm fine now right? Nope the hurt still remained there are so many levels u go through when dealing with Unforgivness. Anger, disappointment, hurt, (not necessarily in that order) but it's a journey to healing. So I still hid away avoiding everyone except my immediate family. At that point I knew I had a problem I couldn't even look them I'm the face! I had to play "hardcore" thinking I was making a point. What i was really doing was becoming a introvert.

OK so at this point I'm annoyed with myself this pattern seems to stay with me every time someone annoys me beyond my own understanding so I ask God to open my heart and to remove the hurt, anger and allow me to "live" again. Be careful what u ask for HE will give it to you "smiles" This Sunday I cried out to GOD like never before making my please before HIM to make me a better Christian. Well HE took me into open heart surgery! I fell out on the floor and the Lord started to extract the hurt and anger from my heart! It was so painful guys! I started seeing images of places where I had allowed the anger to stay with me, meaning I only partially forgave people! I mean how does that make sense! Well by the time HE was done with me there was a pool of tears on the floor literally! Another way HE delivered me was "HE told me to stop protecting my heart that was HIS job!" At that point I'm broken and wore out and I realize what a fool I had been to hold on to anything negative! GOD sees all so who do I think I am to hold back!

I told you this story to make a point. I know people hurt us let us down disappoint us, Holding on to any of that can cause a wound in your heart that will spread throughout your entire body. Let it go! Give it to God! HE know what's going on. Though it might not be fixed hen we want it to be HE will do it in time I pray this helps someone today GOD bless :)

I made up my mind

2009-08-20T06:17:00.000-07:00

I made up my mind to keep my eyes focused on GOD to close my ears to the Gossip and Slander that flows through my office everyday. To pray non-stop for the lost and the broken. To keep my ears open to what the Lord is saying as the hours go by. To be bold with my faith not holding my tongue when people ask me if I believe in GOD. I made up my mind to apply HIS wisdom to every situation I fall in, even to those who don't believe! To show them GOD is real. I made up my mind to draw from those who would hinder me from pressing forward to a higher level in HIM. To not follow the crowds to be a individual! To show them the right way to live this life. I made up my mind to strive to be a example of Jesus even when they hurt or persecute me. To ignore the glances that come my way when I walk through the door. The people who avoid me when they see me coming there way. I made up my mind not to compromise my beliefs. To allow God's light to shine through me so the devil can't hold me. To not straddle the fence because I want to belong in both worlds. To stop the torment that tries to come against my mind with prayer instead of wallowing in Self pity. To pick up my cross and walk through this life as Jesus did. To not fear the faces when GOD gives me a word but to release it with authority given to me by HIS majesty. I made up my mind to love despite if they don't love me back. To love even when they talk about me behind my back. The decision has been made I'm heaven bound nothing can stop me now. The security I longed for I have found in GOD now there is no weapon formed against me that will prosper. No person who will cause me to wallow in anger and hatred. The Holy spirit guides me when the attacks come and I will obey because all I want all I need is my DAD. Even if I have to walk alone I will not back down. I have made up my mind...

Caterpillar into a Butterfly

2009-08-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Caterpillar what do u do when the one u love hurts you. What do you do when the one you trusted with all your secrets lies to your face. At first there is unforgivness. Your mind doesn't understand why this happened. You don't notice as you begin to distance yourself from them. Your words become few and your smile disappear. Jokes are tossed around and while everyone else is laughing you are stewing on the inside. Then U make a vow to GOD that u will never trust that person again as u fall asleep you notice the sun has went down on your anger. It doesn't matter because you are right anyways right? Your dreams are filled wit nightmares. Dark creatures coming to prey on your flesh. You wake up breathless touching yourself to make sure everything is still there. Looking out at the blue sky you hear the voice of the Lord speak aloud "unforgivness is not of me" tears begin to fill your eyes as u realize what you have done. you gave the devil a open door into your soul. You drop to your knees asking HIM to take it away. The devil whispers in your ear "you have a right look what they did to you" Oh child of GOD you hear HIS voice even louder as HE says "I sent my son to die for you, did HE not ask me to forgive the people who crucified HIM.? You lay face first on the ground, your tears pooling around your face as the peace of GOD falls upon you. Satan runs away in fear as GOD's glory fills the room. "Forgiveness" he continues to whisper in your ear' The tension in your body dissipates as u release the pain to your "daddy". HIS arms enclose around you as your tears begin to run dry. HE hold on oh so tight as HE whispers " I will never leave u nor forsake you, I love u my child" You stand up as u give HIM praise U spread your wings and dance around the room "GOD has set me free!" you proclaim. Fly butterfly fly by HIS stripes you were healed....

Dancing on God's Toes

2009-08-18T06:27:00.000-07:00

"smiles" Good Morning to all who read this blog than u for your support. Now I know u are looking at this title and wondering what i could possibly mean by this. Well i dance on God's toes. My life has become a divine melody which he orchestrates. Life had it's challenges for me as I grew up and one of them was "love" I didn't know how to perceive it or accept it was real. My definition of "love" was " The Brady Bunch one big happy family at least that's what I thought. My family struggled most of our lives we made it through by the skin of our nose most of the time. SO there wasn't alot of time for "physical" My mother was never hugged by her mother and therefore didn't understand that I needed her to hold me. Now she did keep a roof over my head and food on the table but I still felt I was lacking something. The devil will try to find anyway to step in and distort what's really going on in front of your eyes. Alot of my memories are false or forgotten at that time and therefore the devil led me to believe that my mother didn't love me. This would haunt me for years and cause lots of rifts between us. i was on a pathway to suicide. I felt like i didn't need to exist, that my life was a waste! Then I was introduced to GOD! Now at this time I was a mess, So even though I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior I had doubts. I started this walk with God in 2001 and it took me till 2008 to get serious! Now I know this doesn't make any sense I mean why would it take me that long right? Well looking for love in all the wrong places. I didn't think God was good enough to take care of me. Now there was also the lack of a "father" in my life that caused me to fear GOD. My dad beat me alot and by the time we finally got away I hated all men and authority figures! Now let's put 2 and 2 together. me in a church with Pastors+ Authority Figures=Rebellion! I smile at this now because I was no naive back then i thought they were trying to control me but they just wanted to show me God's love....it took me ending up with a alcoholic boyfriend for me to realize how low I had sunk! It was around thanksgiving when I broke before God and allowed him to work on me. Now we are in the present and I'm in love with HIM! I never thought I would be able to say that. I 'm in love with GOD secure in HIS love for me! I'm single and happy. Now we have dinner together we talk all day and I dance for him in the spirit...This is how I step on God's toes :) Now it took work I attend church regularly I try to get in my word at least 3 times a week and I pray often. There is a cry deep inside of u itching to get out. It's where u really express yourself to the Lord. A deeper understanding of his mercy and grace! fall in love with the master. make him your everything and watch your life turn around for the better in every way! GOD bless....

Church Hurt

2009-08-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all it's a pleasure to be able to sit here and share with you some of the lessons I learn in life as well as some Godly wisdom behind them.

This weekend all I can say is "WOW" I have never been so tested in my entire walk with God as I was these past few days. I really want to stress this fact. Though we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior it doesn't mean we are perfect nor do we have all the answers. We do try to strive to perfection but it's a tough road letting go of Pride, Anger, Selfishness, and Self Pity when u have carried those demons for so long is like going to war with Satan himself! However when u become sensitive to the holy spirit when u allow Him to consume you it gets easier.

There were a few situations that arose that caused me to question my faith in the "ministry" that a church could actually function as a whole when before you got there rules had already been established or people were so set in their ways that u can't get beyond it. A ministry should be comprised of brothers and sisters reaching out to one another, Praying things through a strong family bond. However sometimes it does not always work out that way. This is why God will set you up to be covered by people within your own family. I told you God never leaves you standing alone HE has a plan for everything, Now even though you may have problems with the way things are ran that doesn't mean you abandon the church! If God has placed you somewhere and you know for a fact it was Him then you stand through it all, Now I'm not saying you aren't gonna be hitting your knees ALOT in prayer if your like me "very sensitive" sometimes things that happen around you will effect you more than others. That doesn't mean you snap out and yell at them when they try to come and help you understand the situation.

I asked God to restore my family and He has and if it wasn't for Him doing that for me I know I would have run and kept running, See that was a habit of mines running when things got tough but I now know that God has purpose behind everything that happens in my life and I'm gonna ride this thing out, I wrote this to those of you who have "Church Hurt" those who have felt abused and tossed aside by your ministries, Don't give up hope! Don't place every church in the same category because of one ministry, We have to remember that the pastor and leaders are "human" and they will mess up but that doesn't mean we cut them down. Take it to the master's feet cry out to Him continuously HE is listening and HE will correct/deal with that person in HIS time.

In conclusion don't go to church expecting to make friends or to socialize go for God! We are suppose to be there to worship and adore HIM but if we get focused on the people around us it can cause you to leave the church. Everyone who enters a ministry has a story be careful who you attach yourself to. Pray about it and make sure it's God leading you and not a "familiar spirit" :D that's a whole nother email. If u need prayer or someone to talk to I'm here God bless

Why are u saved?

2009-08-07T06:50:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday everyone! we made it another week thank you Lord for the jobs we have so that we can provide for our families and pay our bills :) Tho those of you who are looking for employment don't give up God has a job for you :)

Wooh ok so last night I gave my word man was I scared AT FIRST but when I got to the podium God fell on me so strongly that I almost passed out literally! I had to hold on to the stand the whole time "smiles" but HIS word cam forth. My message last night was on Sexual abuse/ Self abuse/ hurt. Now I'm not gonna go into details last night it was spoke to those who needed to hear it. I believe God does everything by Divine appointment and if u choose not to press your way through then you miss out on his blessings. Now I know some of u had previous engagement so I'm not addressing you, The other you know who u are.

I'm a survivor and I'm proud of it! God has bought me through so much and I know if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be here to tell my story. I want to ask all of you why are u saved? was it because someone told you to do it? Maybe it was the latest "fad" at that time and u wanted to jump on the band wagon? Or did you need to feel like you belonged? No matter why you did it the question is are u living your life for him? So many of us internalize things and situations that happen to us and we think if we don't speak them out loud then everything is fine. yet on the inside we are dying! God can see all HE knows the path your life will take before you do so stop hiding.

God is calling for us to draw closer to Him! A deeper intimacy needs to be formed. I cant say this enough I'm in love with God my entire day is focused on Him. I desire to be loved so I love HIM and as HE loves me back my heart is overwhelmed with joy and peace. I don't care if HE never does another thing for me. The fact that I'm apart of Him is enough! Stop putting limits on what God can do! Let Him hold you in His arms. It's so hard to put into words how I feel about God but I tell you this it doesn't stop me from praising Him anyways :D Sometimes I'll put on a worship song and I will dance with Him around my apartment or I'll just look out my window at the sky and talk to Him. Other times I lay prostate on the floor and pour out my heart to Him through tears. This is intimacy! Some of u are in relationships with men'woman doing things you don't have no business doing, your not even married and you are giving them your all! If u don't plan on walking down the aisle let them go! Go back to your first love! I have been single 9 months and I couldn't be happier! Stop looking to man and things to make u happy draw closer to GOD He is waiting on you.

if u need prayer or someone to talk to you know where I am you are not alone God loves you.

What about the children?

2009-08-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

Let me make it plain for you family. Your words and actions have consequences especially when the are directed at a child. We have to remember that they have emotions too and that we can't just talk to them any kind of way. They may say "I'm fine" when you ask them how they are doing, but on the inside they are hurting and angry. Now you know I don't come at you unless I have been there . No I don't have any kids BUT I have a brother who is becoming a young man, and he is wanting to speak his mind and have "free will" now for me this is hard because I didn't know how to keep the boundary of respect and also let him speak his mind. Now I know what you are saying to yourself "This is my child and he/she will follow my rules as long as they are under my roof" :) My mom instilled this in me and I fully believe this rule.

We have to remember though that kids feel that what they have to say is important too. We should take the time to hear what they have to say before we jump to conclusions (yelling, snapping, taking away their toys etc..) As I walk this journey with him I'm finding myself more before the feet of God than ever asking HIM how to make it through this change in his life. What's beautiful about this is that GOD actually speaks to me! Now what's bad though is alot of times before i went there I would totally chew him out and leave him there to sulk, but from now on I'm going to go before the FATHER and seek HIS guidance before I make any decisions.

I encourage you this morning! Mom's f your child is driving you insane and you feel like everything you have done is not helping talk to your creator HE has the best advice :) and for us older sisters/brothers don't totally write your Lil bro/sis off. If you are raising them on Godly principles when they come to talk to you it could be because they have a word from the Lord! "From the mouth of babes" Let them know that they matter they are looking to us for love and acceptance let's not cause them any unjust pain :) I love you brother always! If u need prayer or someone to talk to you know where I am :)

Busy Bee's

2009-08-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

Good Morning everyone! You know how the Lord will use our own daily experiences to minister to someone HE is so awesome!

How many of you are looking for a deeper relationship with God? Do you feel like HE's not near, or that you are running your life on your own? I know some of you are wore out so much stress surrounding you trying to get everything done at once. I've been there and sometimes I still struggle with it. Now I know some of you have kids, husband, house, car, etc... and everyday you wake up you have to make sure all those things in order. I also know that some of you envy the one's that are single we have no one to take care of except ourselves. most of us live in apartments and we don't have to worry about car notes, water bills, getting the kids off to school "sighs" "The single Life" perfection right? NOT! "smiles"

Now a few years back OK about 10 years back I would have said this is the best time ever BUT we have alot on our plates as well. You know our anthem "all the women who independent" or at least that's what Destiny's Child said we were "smiles" Yeah it's fun to be on your own, I mean if I had dough like Beyonce I'd be singing that song too! :) However I'm sure she is still stressed out that she has internal struggles. It all comes back to one thing Money can't buy you love. Now we are on a roll ok so hear me out here. I would say my day consists of getting up hitting the shower getting out the door to get to work on time, hopping on the bus which is about a 45 minute drive back to my house, eating dinner, jumping on the Internet, entertaining my brother and then hitting the sheets for the next day.

Now I know you are saying to yourself "That's nothing does she know what I go through on a daily?" Now notice I didn't mention the fact that People come at me gossiping, saying stuff behind my back, bill collectors looking for their money, Dealing with customers, Making sure my job is done, Not to mention what's going on in my head! Thoughts are so time consuming they can leave you exhausted! OK so now that I'm done listing the daily I got another question for you. Did you notice I didn't mention God in any of this? Where is God in my daily life? Is it the quick prayer I sneak in during my shower? Or when I hit my bed at night exhausted from the day where I will mumble something before I pass out? I realized my relationship with God had become strained because I was so busy trying to entertain everyone, and of course we can't forget the social networks. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace I mean of course we have to talk to everyone on our list and of course we need to update our status. Oh and our show is coming on TV tonight at 7:00 we have to watch it NO all this is a distraction! Sometimes we need to shut everything down and just talk with the FATHER.

I encourage you today whatever your dealing with get in your prayer closet and seek God! for some it's a hot bath for others it's laying back in a chair and listening to worship music. Whatever your destination is get there. Don't let God become a distant memory. Someone that you talk to "once in awhile" HE misses you. Don't you know God watches us all day to see when we are going to take the time out to talk to HIM? Now me I talk to HIM all day BUT I'm still guilty of not going home or taking the time to get up in the morning and talk to HIM. I changed that as of yesterday and I'm going to keep pressing :) IF u need prayer or someone to talk to you know where I am be blessed.

Humbled

2009-08-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

I have come to the end of myself broken down, no where else left to look. The wall has been placed up in front of me and I'm trapped. Bills, family situations, drama, surround me. I can hear the devil cackling he knows that I'm going down. My brain is fried I can't think about anymore solutions there is no where else left to look all my money is gone. So many dreams I want to achieve coming to life I see them so clearly but the money is not there so I'm stopped in my tracks, Though I keep pressing writing, singing, dancing all for the LORD it seems as if my dream will never come to pass. As I feel myself starting to slip to the ground I lift up my head towards heaven as I see the sun begin to break through the clouds. The warmness of it's rays covers my face. The love u have for me consuming my body a smile begins to spread across my face your light oh GOD breaking through the darkness trying to hold me captive! Now I hear the devil screaming HIS defeat is coming quickly. I lift up my hands toward u like a little girl reaching for her father and I cry out for you to heal me, to take back what the devil has stolen from me Oh LORD only u can achieve this feat! I drop to my knees humility washing over me. I give up MY way of doing things MY way of solving problems. Free my mind from this torment that tries to besiege me leaving me sick on the inside, my shoulders hunched over all of my pride gone. Only u Oh GOD can make this dream come true u are the miracle worker! My worship turns to praise as I remember what u have bought me through already my faith begins to rise my joy returning to me! I will have the victory I will defeat the enemy with my praise! As I begin to dance around in that dark alley I see you approaching me I see your glory and I stop in awe of your presence of your glory! The demons run in terror they know they can't win OH GOD who can stand in your presence and live? Once again I drop to my knees as you place you hand on my shoulder the love of a father to HIS daughter is pouring into me. To this day I continue to trust u never forgetting the day you met me where I was at.

Artifical

2009-08-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

I see u walking day to day from your home to work to the gym the grocery store and then back home. I see the pain etched in your face the weariness you are feeling, I see your thoughts you wondering if u are losing it. Yet you continue to walk your head held up high the outfit you are wearing the latest fashions. People take a second glance when you walk by them envious of your attire. They don't know how much you are in debt that all your credit cards are maxed out and you have no food in your fridge because you are starving yourself. Your hair is perfection not a single strand out of place. Your teeth are pearly white a smile etched permanently across your face. They don't see how you cry as you look at your bills piled high your hair falling out in clumps the stress starting to take it's toll. The wig that you are wearing was professionally made grade A quality! Your teeth done by the dentist to the stars 2 more bills you have to add on. All u want is to be accepted to live the Hollywood dream or at least that's what the TV tells you. " size 2 is the way to go!" " long luscious hair can be yours if you dial this number now!" "Oh you just have to buy this outfit it totally suits you". Your kitchen is filled with appliances you have never used. You were hoping your new look would get you friends. So you called HSN and bought up half the catalog but still no one has graced your door. Where will you run now where will you go? All the while I'M looking down at you my heart is breaking wishing I could hold you close. I love you just the way you are no need for makeup, fancy heels, or scarfs I love u says the LORD for all that you are and all that you will become. If you would just open up your heart and let me come inside I will take the loneliness away the stress the aches. I will give you the joy that you lost when your husband of 33 years walked out the door saying he wanted someone younger. So u thought u weren't good enough and started to run up all these bills changing who you are what you looked like when my love is so simple. She lifts her eyes to the ceiling she has nothing left to live for she makes her way up the stairs to the bathroom the razors are on the sink, but before she takes her life she decides to write a letter for whoever finds her. As she opens the door where she keeps her paper she notice a journal that has since aged. She opens it up and looks inside and on the first page is all the promises she made to GOD as a child. You see she was saved at a young age and at one time was so close to GOD nothing bad could come her way but years went by and other things became priority and slowly but surely she left him behind. She falls to her knees as sobs rack her body she realizes all she needed was a touch from her daddy! she cries out like never before the door to her heart opens and like a mighty wind GOD sweeps through her! Now life is worth living now she can breathe a little easier because she made the choice to go back to her first love.......

Are U listening

2009-08-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

She laid on the bed her innocence gone. The man that had taken it left in the middle of the night. Ring ring ring she has called his cell phone 20 times no answer. Each time the voicemail pops on each time she hears the beep letting her know she can leave a message a part of her dies on the inside. The room is dark all the curtains are closed. Her body still in the middle of the bed yet her mind runs rampant. "I thought he loved me" she hears herself saying in her mind.

A single tear trails down her face as her mind turns to the memories they created. picnics in the park, late night movies eating popcorn but not really watching the movie his hands are too busy trying to unclasp her bra. though it made her uncomfortable she continues to say to herself "he loves me" as he reaches to unzip her pants. A virgin when she met him he slowly steals her innocence. he starts by rubbing her back as time goes by and more dates comes he makes bolder advances in his mind he has one goal but to her they are in love.

The big night comes he prepares dinner at his place. She put on her favorite dress pink is the color. he hair a mess of curls. Lip gloss is cherry red, she puts on her her special heels all for this man the one she thinks is going to propose to her. He asks her to meet him at his house. A strange request but he claims it's a surprise. Her parents whisk her out the door proud of their beautiful daughter so sweet and innocent not tarnished by the ways of the world or so they thought.

She pulls up to his home and walks towards the door her heart in anticipation of what's to come. Suddenly a bright light shines before her and she falls to her knees in fear "who are you" she asks her body trembling. Michael is my name I'm a angel of the LORD! Her mouth falls open in awe "I am not worthy to look upon you" she say to him. "Woman of GOD arise I am here to warn you this man means no good by you turn around and go back the other direction" Michael says. she hears her car start and she is surprised! "get in the car" Michael says.

She wants to believe him but her heart has been deceived by Satan himself! "I have to go in he loves me he wants to marry me we are going to be together forever!" she says. Michael looks into the distance "GOD love you I was sent to warn you now I must go make the right decision" and then he was gone like a shooting star he disappeared into the sky. She sits in the middle of the sidewalk convicted she turns to go towards her car when all of the sudden De'vil opens the door! "Honey I have been waiting for you". His smile is blinding he is one the most handsome men she has ever seen! Blinded by desire she walks towards the door and goes in. Devil closes the door laughing silently to himself."I thought he loved me" she continues to say to herself. the single tear now a waterfall. Her body is racked with sobs her heart hurting so much. Shame fills her up on the inside as she realizes she has to face her family and friends. "This is not happening why me GOD why me!" she screams. Her mind is suddenly taken back to the night before she was WARNED......

Lesson Heed the voice of the LORD do not lean toy your own understanding! GOD is speaking all the time. the question is are u listening......

© Lakisha Latham 2009

Let's be honest

2009-08-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

believe in God I made a choice to surrender my life to Christ. What does this mean? I will forsake all things of the world, I will strive to be a example for those who need to see what the Love of Jesus is truly like. I will pray and seek Him daily getting in my word going to church and bible study so that I can increase in His wisdom.

I am so tired of coming into work on Monday and people saying "yeah I went to the club and got my drink on" "Oh yeah I was laid up with my boyfriend this weekend we stayed in bed all day" "Oh yeah man I was so high I ate up everything in my fridge" "Gurl she got up in my face and I told her what is an i kicked her butt she don't know me!"

Ok so you get the picture what is all this madness? How can u claim God and be acting like this. Oh wait let me guess because you attend a service once n awhile, Say a few hallelujahs oh and then u make sure to go to mom's house for dinner u have sealed the deal there is definitely a place in heaven for you? WRONG! You are straddling the fence. In the bible the LORD states that HE will spew you out of His mouth for doing this! Let me ask u a question. How much money did you spend on that "barely there" outfit so some dude could give you some attention because the truth is you are lonely" "What did those drugs do to your mind and how much were you tormented since u allowed the devil easy access?" "what did you benefit beating that woman/man up did you proves something to yourself or did you cause yourself more problems?" We don't even think about any of this when we make these decisions it's all about us and God is put on the back burner.

Let me stress something to you. Works, going to church once a week, tithing, and using Jesus's name once awhile is not going to get you into heaven. You are suppose to be a example for your children for those around you. Yet you allow your flesh to control you. Giving a man/woman your body that you are not betrothed to is a sin. Your just creating a soul tie and giving another person apart of you that doesn't belong to them. You need to decrease so God can increase. This is not a time to be playing games. This behavior is not tolerated in the kingdom of God. Take this as a warning HE has been patient with all of us and yet we ignore Him and do our own thing, If u have read the story of Sodom and Gomorrah you know that God's wrath is unquenchable once it's been released. Your children, homes, jobs, finances can be taken from you at any second.

Take the time today to repent and ask God to forgive you. Mean it from your heart and strive to live a holy life before you end up where you don't want to go. if u need prayer you know where I am.